Venial Sin

No apologies. I’ve just run out of stuff to write about. That’s not strictly true, actually. I’m not sure WHAT to write about at this point in time. I’ll be back soon, I promise. Give me a couple of days.

Anyone who has ever flown out of a Pakistani airport, be it on a domestic or international trip, will undoubtedly be familiar with the strapping of suitcases that goes on. Once luggage has been run through the X-ray machine, but before a passenger reaches the airline’s check-in counter, all items of cargo that don’t count as hand-luggage are handed over to one of many slovenly men with greased forelocks who resentfully hoist it onto a strange metallic platform. Once atop [...]

While my mother frantically denied my cross-dressing (heeling? Shoe-ing?) tendencies, and my other relatives recoiled with expressions of utter shock and horror, undoubtedly convinced that my mother’s decision to move to Karachi instead of staying put in Lahore had led to all sorts of unspeakable deviancies, the least of which was my alleged fondness for three-inch-high pumps. In the meanwhile, I quietly shrank into a corner, desperately wishing that I had worn some sort of chameleon outfit. Any conversational gambits [...]

A sufficient number of pillows will, when placed strategically around one’s ears, do much to muffle the sound of two horny queens in the room next door, even if one of them tends to be a trifle vocal. Unfortunately, it doesn’t do a whole lot for one’s posture or comfort levels (leaving aside for the moment the issue of the absurd amount of heat generated by a head sandwiched between two down-filled items of bed accessories), so when I woke [...]

Men? Are all, consumately and entirely, short-sighted pricks with the mental acuity of retarded chihuahuas and the sensitivity and consideration of the administrators of Dachau. However, since hope springs eternal in my bloody breast, and everyone’s been posting song lyrics, here are mine: “The Special Two” by Missy Higgins. I’ve hardly been outside my room in days… ’cause I don’t feel that I deserve the sunshine’s rays. The darkness helped until the whiskey wore away, and it was then I [...]

I was going through Neil Gaiman’s website earlier today (as some of you may know, he’s one of my favourite writers, and in my personal opinion, one of the smartest people out there). While browsing through it randomly, and trying to come up with a desperate attempt to leave him something so memorably witty and devastatingly remarkable that he’d immediately come to my blog, read it all in one day, and call his agent to get me a publishing deal, [...]

Because some of you bitches keep whining about how I never put up pictures of myself or Karachi on my weblog, I’ve decided to indulge you. They’re not of me, but the following images are some of my favourite photographs of Karachi:

In the ensuing silence, I got up, went to say goodbye to my aunt, and had the driver take me to Diplomat’s. I don’t think that the ancestral house will be at all welcoming any time in the near future. Bastards. Hypocritical, sanctimonious, prejudiced, bigoted, stank-ass bitches. I’m ashamed to share genetic material with them. When I got to Diplomat’s place, the house was completely empty, so I took the opportunity to go into my room and take a wonderfully [...]

The trip to Lahore a week ago was really just mediocre at best. Although the visit to Über in Islamabad was a lot of fun, I’ve been feeling very stifled by Karachi these days, and the one trip every other month or so just isn’t cutting it any more. Hence, overcome by localised wanderlust, I decided that I’d go to see Diplomat in Lahore, spend some time away from work, and perhaps even get to see U Mich, who’d effectively [...]

Oh all right, it wasn’t pure love, but there was something about the boots that really just did it for me. I regret that I didn’t have a chance to check them out further, because at that point, the dull throbbing beat that I had assumed was my heart, turned out to be a horde of homos pounding angrily on the door. Ignoring the demands that they be let in immediate, U Mich and I took our own sweet time [...]