Venial Sin

You know, my biggest problem with doing this law course is that although I was completely adamant about returning to Pakistan to live there, the idea of being a well-paid lawyer in London carries with it a charm all its own. Not only can I get enough plastic surgery to sculpt my corporeal self into what I think it should be, I can also finally take the Financier out for drinks a few hundred times in order to make up [...]

Tonight, I hit an all-time new low in terms of self-loathing and image issues. Obviously enough, it involves gay men and my going to a locale where they would hang out, because after all, how else would such an occasion ensue? It’s Monday, I have no TV or internet connection in my apartment yet, and after getting back from college at five, I sat down with my books and studied diligently until about nine p.m. In-between contract law and tort [...]

Seeing the pool of blood, I had a momentary panic attack, mainly due to the flash-forwards to what A.D.’s mother would say to me if her precious son kicked the bucket while I was nearby. Coupled with brief moments of sheer “Oh mother-HUMPER, what the fuck is going on and why am I the only person who seems to get stuck in scenarios such as this??!!?”, it was not a pleasant moment. Finally, banishing all thoughts of impending doom from [...]

By the time we got back to my friend’s place, it must have been almost four or so in the morning. The second his apartment door opened, there was an instant rush towards the refrigerator, with everyone doing their desperate best to find something edible. Naturally, the lifestyle of a single man in the finance industry isn’t exactly conducive towards keeping the pantry stocked, which meant that I had to distract the other three guys with a bottle of Jack [...]

Hi all, Sorry if comments haven’t been coming through. I’m getting the bejeezus spammed out of me with these fucking “poker” and “phentermine” spambots, and had basically disabled comments for a while. It should all be functional again now though, so comment away if you so desire.

“The question,” he began to explain to me in a patronising tone (which is, as anyone with about half a brain stem can tell just from looking at me, a terrible approach to use around me), “is whether or not I have a boyfriend.” “Well?” I shrugged, still not sure what any of this had to do with me. “Does that matter?” Cue shock and horror. “Of course it matters! I have a boyfriend and I love him dearly! I [...]

When we got into the club, both A.D. and I spent a few minutes marvelling at the fact that London seemed to have refinanced its municipal programmes by selling off old or mostly unused subway stations. Fabric is massive; it’s an entire underground Tube stop that was converted into a club if the rumours are to be believed. And there doesn’t seem to be any reason to disbelieve those rumours, because the scale of the club, although not quite on [...]

Before I wake up drunk/hungover, I’d just like to point out that Simon from Milan kisses like a demon, and is very hot. All of a sudden, London’s not so unfriendly. That is all.

To all those of you who have passed me well-intentioned advice, thank you. I already have an NUS card, I’ve already been getting the weekly travelpasses, and am trying to hang out with more students, but given that I have approximately 80 pages of reading to do each day, not to mention homework, babysitting duty and trying to get some exercise so that I become svelte once again, the whole making friends situation isn’t improving drastically. Still, with a few [...]

I’ve had several dozen things to write about since I wound up here in London, but the combination of living in my brother’s house, being perpetually confused by London’s streets and maps, my nephews’ strange sleep cycles and lack of my own PC have led to a marginal abandonment of this blog. For that, I apologise. To be honest, I don’t know how regularly I’m going to keep on updating this blog, for a variety of reasons ranging from my [...]